Friday, May 26, 2017

Please help me raise money for a new used car by donating to my GoFundMe account. (I'm trying to survive alone with mental illness)




I started this GoFundMe account nearly two years ago because I knew it was only a matter of time before my car would break down for good. I did my best taking care of it, and using it sparingly because I knew I would be in big trouble if I didn't have a car. My vehicle was my lifeline to having a relationship with my son. I was able to take him and pick him up from school a few times a week. Because I have no family or friends, my relationship with my son was everything to me. Before you say, "Can't you get a job?" Well, I've been disabled for quite a while and collect disability from the government. I make very little money and after I pay my rent/bills I'm practically broke. Although my income is very little, I can only qualify for $22 a month in food stamps. I live on the edge and fear becoming homeless in the future. I wouldn't be asking for help, if I wasn't desperate. My car finally died for the last time two weeks ago. I can't tell you how much I miss seeing my son. Before you say, "Can't you walk or take a bus?" Well, I live in a rural area and the closes bus stop is near 7 miles away. The roads around me are two lane highways with no shoulders, so I can't walk or ride a bike unless I want to take my life in my own hands. My ex has been nice enough to bring my son for a couple hours a few times, but because she lives a half an hour away, she doesn't want to bring him to me. Please, if you can help just a little I would be forever grateful. Even if you could share my GoFundMe campaign on your social media sites, it would be such a blessing. Look, I know that I'm blessed to have a roof over my head and even though I suffer from mental illness, it could be worse. However, I'm alone in this world and have nowhere to turn. Thank you for taking the time to read. God Bless!

Link to my GoFundMe account: http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk

Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com


My dead car...







If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...




Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I need a lifesaver.

Nothing has changed since I last updated this blog. I'm still without a car and I'm not able to see my son as much. However, I was lucky to spend time with my son this past Sunday. I heard his mom's car pull up and walked outside my room to see my son running up the stairs yelling, "Da, I missed you!" I got choked up and when he reached the top of the stairs, I gave him the biggest hug. We spent the day playing games and watching television together. He cuddled up against me while we were watching cartoons and asked, "When will you be getting another car?" I didn't know what to tell him, so I said, "Hopefully soon." I get real emotional when I think about not being able to see my son as much. Later that night, his mother picked him up. While they drove away, he kept yelling out the window, "I love you and miss you Da!" After hearing that, I walked up to my room and cried uncontrollable tears. This isn't fair. I know that life isn't fair and I have to get use to the idea that things won't change anytime soon. However, I pray every night and hope for the best.



Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...







If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...



Tuesday, May 23, 2017

I'm missing my son so much! Please help me...someone...anyone?

                                    
I'm missing my son so much! Not having a car, since my car broke down has been the nightmare I thought it would be. Not only can't I see my son regularly, but I also have to beg for rides to the store. It would be a lot easier if I didn't live in such a remote area because I'd probably walk the seven miles I had to, in order to get to the closes bus stop. Unfortunately, I'd probably end up dead because none of the two lane highways have sidewalks, much less a decent couple of inches to walk on. I moved hear last month because I wanted to get away from the violence and ugliness that is South Sacramento, California. Save money and eventually replace my car with another and much better running used car, however, it only took a month for my automobile to finally die. Now I up the creek, without a paddle. I've seen my son only a couple of times in the last few weeks and hit hurts so badly! I had him over the other day and his mother told me that his promotion from kindergarten is next month. She explained that she can't make it, but her father will take video for the both of us. Ugh! How can I not be there? My biggest fears are slowly coming true. My depression makes me want to sleep the day away. I want to stop hurting like this, but I don't know what to do? Please someone help me! I know there are so many people out there that could change my circumstances with little effort. Sure, I know that many people are in worse situations than myself. Please help them before you help me, but if anyone is out there. Maybe a bunch of people can just give a little? I know it's asking for a lot. I know maybe I'm not deserving of help, but I have no family because of what they did to me. I have no friends because my illness keeps me isolated from the world. Obtaining another used car would change my life and put me back on track. I want to get off disability and try getting a part time job. I want to beat my illness and have a better life, but I can't do it without any help. Please be that help that I so desperately need. Links below, thank you.



Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...





If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...

Thursday, May 18, 2017

I feel like I've been living in a tomb; buried alive. Also, rest in peace Chris Cornell.



Lately, I feel as though I'm trapped inside a tomb. Buried alive, or already dead. I haven't left my room since Monday night and it's slowly getting to me. All I do is sit or lay down on my bed and watch endless amounts of television. In between, I attempt to take naps because that's the only way I can dull the pain. You might ask what's hurting me so bad? Well, I miss my son and because my car is now broken down for good, I can't pick him up from school and spend quality time with him. I might be able to see him this weekend, but the time is so short and I end up crying every time I see him drive away with his mom. Not having a car has put me into a depression I can't seem to find my way out of, and I'm scared. I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't care if I died, at least it would stop the pain. I attempted suicide in the past, and it isn't something I'd try again. The reason? As sappy as it sounds, I'm afraid of going to hell and being separated from my son forever. Sadly, the other day I read that Chris Cornell (lead singer of Soundgarden/Audioslave) hung himself in a motel bathroom. I grew up listening to his music and the idea that someone like him succumbed to the curse that is depression, affects me deeply. I also read that he had three children, and I feel for those that he left behind. It's such a sad but familiar story. Imagine having so much, but still thinking that suicide was the answer? I can't judge him and no one should, but it certainly should be a wake up call to those that doubt the consequences of depression. I suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia and one of the ugly side effects is major depression. I have to be strong, but I wish I had help.





Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...




If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

My fear came true.



It's been a difficult week for me. I haven't found the motivation to get up and go outside, so I've spent most of my time in bed. I just sit and watch endless hours of mindless television, in between naps. I knew when my car finally broke down, I'd be in trouble. I've lost my lifeline to having a relationship with my son that kept me involved and a big part of his life. I'm trying my best not to get too depressed, but it's very hard when I don't have any friends or family. The other day I wrote something down, as to why it is so difficult having a friend(See above). I don't think people truly realize how mental illness affects the ability to be social. I think the last time I was able to maintain a real friendship was back in middle school. By the time I was in high school, I was already having symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia and started to isolate myself from the world. That isolation continues to this day, except for some brief moments in time when I was able to function in the real world. I hate being alone, but as time goes by, it has become almost too familiar. My social growth is so stunted. I often forget how to maintain a conversation, so I just end up coming across as someone who's not interested in getting to know anyone. When the truth is, I need a friend. My fear is that I will end up locked away in my room, apart from my son, and dying a little inside everyday. It looks like my fear came true.


Also, I would update more but for the last two years my computer has been dying a slow death.





Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...








If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Missing my little boy.


Today I would normally pick up my son from school and have him until Sunday night, but that won't be the case for a while. Now that my car has finally broken down for good, I'm not sure when I'll get to see my son. My car was my lifeline that gave me the opportunity to have a relationship with my little boy. I knew my car would eventually break down for good, after all, it was over twenty years old and falling apart little by little. Every time I would drive around in my car, I would have so much anxiety because I feared it would break down at any moment. The thought of my car dying on the side of some road, while cars zoomed by, was a prevailing fear of mine. As I drove, I always would self talk and bargain with God, in a vain attempt to keep my car on the road for as long as possible. I would even sing songs under my breathe, in praise of God. I know that may seem silly to some people, but I truly believed it would have some affect on the life of my automobile. Sadly, my worst fears have finally come true. I no longer have a car, so I can't be in my son's life for the time being. I'm on federal disability and I barely survive month to month, so I don't have any money saved up to purchase another used car. Also, because I don't have any family or friends, I don't have anyone to ask for help. I know people wonder how I couldn't possibly have a friend or any family to help me out, but it's the truth. I've written before a few times on this blog, as to why I have no contact with my family anymore. As for friends, my illness makes it very difficult for me to be social. I'm mostly locked inside my apartment all day watching television or sleeping (With the help of medication). Yesterday I wrote, "Please help me" and without sounding anymore pathetic than I already feel, I'll continually ask if there is anyone or any people who can donate to my GoFundMe account or directly to my PayPal email (Arichere@yahoo.com), in order for me to purchase a dependable used car, I would be forever grateful. Also, if there is anyone in the Sacramento, CA area and you have a car that you don't need, maybe you could find it in your heart to donate it to me. Anyhow, I'm sorry for coming across as a person who expects people to help... Especially since there are people who are worse off than myself. I just need help and don't have anywhere to turn.




Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...





If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...






Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Please help me...



It's been awhile since I last updated this blog. A lot has happened in the last few months. Some of the events have been good, while others have been quite bad. Don't get me wrong because I am grateful to have a roof over my head and food in my refrigerator. I now live in a loft above a garage, in a very decent neighborhood compared to where I use to live. There's nothing but farmland surrounding me and two lane roadways are the norm. I was quite fortunate to find this place because the people who own the house are so friendly. The last few months while I had my son over, he was able to go swimming, as well as play with the neighboring farm animals. Seeing my son happy is what I live for, however, the worse possible thing happened a few days ago. My car finally died on the side of a road. According to a mechanic, it isn't worth fixing because the cost would be double what my car is worth. I have to say that the last few days have been horrible for me because I'm unsure on how I'll survive without a car. I mean, I can get rides to the store from the nice people that I live with, but I can no longer pick up and drop my son off at school. My time with my son will be very limited. I've been crying so much lately because this was everything I was afraid of happening. I have about a hundred dollars to my name and I was barely surviving on my disability, so I don't know how I'll ever save up money for another used car. I feel like such a failure in life. How can I be a good father to my son, if I can't be in his life as much? This is terrible and I simply don't know what to do. If you read any part of my blog, you'd understand that I don't have any family or friends in my life that could help me out. I don't have any contact with my family for a very good reason. I'm not going to get into why, except to say that I was sexually assaulted by my step dad, but my family doesn't care and turned their back on me because I'm sure they think that someone with a mental illness isn't a "Real" person in the first place. I'm scared and can't sleep because my anxiety is off the charts. I've started to self medicate, in order to be able to sleep more. I really don't know what's going to happen anymore. I'm not suicidal, but I wouldn't be unwelcome, if death bothered to knock on my door. Like I wrote earlier, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. The Internet seems to be my only hope for someone to help me out financially. I don't enjoy asking for help, even the the homeowners that I live with, have been so kind. They can see that I'm struggling and have offered rides. The wife even said she cosign on a used car for me. I told her that, "You hardly know me." "It wouldn't feel right," I explained. In truth, I worry because what if I default on a loan and ruin someone else's credit. I couldn't do that to someone so nice. So, I'm left with asking for help from anyone who's reading this entry. If you have it in your means and can give, any amount of money would be greatly appreciated. I know that there are far better places to spend your money and people who are in worse positions, but if you can help me... I need someone or some people who have been blessed with material wealth to hear my plea for help. I miss my son so much, even though it's only been about a week since I've seen him. There's a link at the bottom of my page for a GoFundme account, as well as, a Paypal email you can donate to. Again, if you can help, God bless you.






Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...