Friday, February 13, 2015

A little about me.

My name is Eric and I suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia. I was diagnosed some twenty years ago and for the most part I have my illness under control. I'm now taking Prozac, Seroquel, and Attivan on a daily basis. My symptoms include auditory voices and the occasional hallucination. Most of the voices I hear aren't directed toward me. The voices that are directed toward me are often angry in tone. They tell me things like "I'm better off dead" and can be very upsetting. I can't say that I'm use to the voices but they don't bother me as much. As far as the hallucinations are concerned, they are usually of bugs and spiders. I do occasionally see people but that isn't as common as it once was when I was younger. People don't understand that if I do see bugs or spiders, it is possible that they can bite, even though they aren't real. I really don't understand how that is possible but it is true.

Right now, my life is in turmoil. I just broke up with my girlfriend and she's taken my son away from me. My ex girlfriend is a lot younger than me and that's probably by design because I tend to believe younger women aren't as jaded as older ones. However, younger women have their vices. My ex decided to cheat on me and when I found out she said, "Your too old and if we had children, they will be sick like you." When I heard her say those words, I died a little inside. We were together for over four years and now she's gone, along with my son. I should say that I'm not the biological father of my son. You see, I had been dating my ex for about a month and she discovered she was pregnant but by her former boyfriend. He wasn't even a boyfriend to my ex... He was just a guy who slept with her and then dumped her and joined the army. I thought I did the noble thing and stayed with my ex and raise the baby as if I was the father. I can't explain how much I love my son and how I embraced fatherhood. My ex was even jealous of how close my son was to me and not to her. Now they are both gone and I'm dying inside. I get to see my son one day a week but that's not enough. My heart is breaking and there's nothing I can do. What makes matters worse is I'm financially in a bad place. The apartment we shared is too expensive for me but I don't have money saved to move somewhere else. I have no place to go. The immediate problem I have is my car, that's nearly twenty years old, is slowing breaking down for good. If I don't have a car, I won't be able to see my son. I think that's a big reason I decided to write on this blog. I need help and figure maybe someone out there has a big heart and could help me out financially.

Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful.  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...