Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Saying you have a mental illness isn't the best ice breaker.

Because of my illness, making and keeping friends is sometimes close to impossible, at least for me. The last time I can remember having a close friend was all the way back in grade school. Since then, I literally have no one. Of course, this isn't by choice and I'd like to have a bunch of friends but it never works out. The few relationships I've had in my life, including the most recent, were with women that also became my only friend. Right now, since my girlfriend left and took my son with her, I'm currently friendless. I mean, I still get to see my son about once a week but that's just not enough because I love him so much. Don't get me wrong, because I do miss my ex girlfriend also but I sensed for a while she wanted the relationship to end. I guess it's harder than I think for someone to want to be with me. I normally don't go out much but that changes when I'm in a relationship because I'm kind of forced to be something that's very difficult to maintain. I'm usually depressed for no apparent reason and I do have symptoms that would make someone uncomfortable. For instance, I do have auditory hallucinations and the occasional visual hallucination. You'd have to be someone really special to accept my limitations. I can see why my ex girlfriend told me that she was afraid that if we had children, they might be born with my illness. Hearing that from her was such a blow to my entire being. I'm still hurting from it but it isn't something I'm not used to unfortunately. Honestly, making and keeping friends is very difficult because I can't be who they want me to be. It isn't like I have a wheel chair or I'm walking around in crutches. People look at me and say to themselves, "You don't look sick." Well, it isn't like I wear a t shirt explaining my illness, so I've come to expect that kind of statement. Yes, I have Paranoid Schizophrenia but I'm not a bad person and you shouldn't be afraid to get to know me.

Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...

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