Thursday, February 19, 2015

I can't look at myself in the mirror.

I never really look in the mirror. I more or less squint when I'm shaving or grooming myself. A lot of people find it hard to believe that someone can go through life without looking into a mirror but I can. It really has nothing to do with me not liking what I look like. I just have this fear of looking into my eyes. The thought of seeing my reflection sends me into a state of high anxiety. It's a fear that I can't really explain or put into words. I feel if I looked into my eyes, I'd see someone I didn't know or recognize. My morning shave has me leaning so close to the mirror that I obscure my view. When I brush my hair, I'll kneel down, so that I can only see my hair in the mirror. It has been a routine I've followed since I was in my teens. I sometimes wonder if that's part of my illness. I don't know if having Paranoid Schizophrenia plays a part in this but if it does, I'm positive that I won't be able to look in the mirror for the rest of my life. I don't know that person in the mirror. There are times when I squint and I'm able to see the man in the mirror but he has grown old. He isn't worth my consideration.

Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful.  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...

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