Thursday, February 19, 2015

I can't look at myself in the mirror.





I never really look in the mirror. I more or less squint when I'm shaving or grooming myself. A lot of people find it hard to believe that someone can go through life without looking into a mirror but I can. It really has nothing to do with me not liking what I look like. I just have this fear of looking into my eyes. The thought of seeing my reflection sends me into a state of high anxiety. It's a fear that I can't really explain or put into words. I feel if I looked into my eyes, I'd see someone I didn't know or recognize. My morning shave has me leaning so close to the mirror that I obscure my view. When I brush my hair, I'll kneel down, so that I can only see my hair in the mirror. It has been a routine I've followed since I was in my teens. I sometimes wonder if that's part of my illness. I don't know if having Paranoid Schizophrenia plays a part in this but if it does, I'm positive that I won't be able to look in the mirror for the rest of my life. I don't know that person in the mirror. There are times when I squint and I'm able to see the man in the mirror but he has grown old. He isn't worth my consideration.







Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...






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