Friday, April 3, 2015

I never knew my father and that's probably for the best.







I can't sleep and it's surprising since I'm currently taking 1200mg of Seroquel. In the past, taking less than I am currently put me to sleep on a regular basis. Still, I'm glad it works most of the time because night time is the worse for me. I can hear the sounds of muffled voices and they are angry. I'm use to hearing voices at night but for the most part they aren't directed toward me. Still, the hate and anger behind the voices scares me at times. I hear the voices coming from everywhere and nowhere. When I was younger, the first time I had an auditory hallucination, I heard music coming from the inner wall beside my bed. The music was mostly instrumental and sounded as if there was a party taking place. At a young age I heard music coming from inanimate objects. At first I thought maybe everyone heard the music and just didn't mention it to anyone. Of course, that view quickly changed when I informed my mother that I was hearing things at night. My mother told me that my biological father was sick. I asked her to explain, sick? She just muttered, "He did a lot of strange things." My father left my mom when I was an infant and I never had a relationship with him. My extended family never talked about my father but when they did, it was sketchy to say the least. When I was twenty, I searched and met my father. He had just been released from prison. I asked him why he was in jail and he said, "I started a fire." Turned out the fire he set was a suicide attempt. He drove his pick up into the mountains and set the truck on fire, with him inside. A passer bye saw and the police and fireman were called, so he was rescued without injury. He was jailed because they believed he was an arsonist. My father and I spent six straight hours talking and it was eerie. I felt as if I was a lot like him but he couldn't see his mental defect. He believed everyone was out to get him. The last thing my father told me was, "You got a few bucks you can lend me?" Years have passed and I doubt I'll search him out again. The Seroquel is going to make me sleep the rest of the day and that sucks because I consider it a day wasted already.




Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...



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