Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Suicide cliche's don't fly with me.




A few days ago I woke up to find that Sawyer Sweeten, a young man who starred on Everybody Loves Raymond, committed suicide by shooting himself with a shotgun, while visiting family in Texas. I didn't want to believe it was true because I grew up watching that particular sitcom and I still watch it every night on Nick at Nite. Sadly, as more and more media outlets started to publish reports of his suicide, I knew it was indeed true. I was more than curious as to why this young man committed suicide. Was he suffering from depression? Was it drugs? Was it alcohol? I searched the Internet in order to find any information on his death. At the same time I read comments from people on social media sites, as well as comments from articles about his suicide. I was saddened to read a lot of unfeeling and just plain mean spirited comments from various people online. Sure, most comments were positive in nature but the negative ones bothered me a lot. I know that everyone has a right to their own opinion but I also believe that unless you are someone who has attempted suicide, thought about suicide, or suffer from major depression you have no idea what you're talking about. You'll never know how it feels to want to end the pain and just die. Then the cliche's start to fly:

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"Suicide is a very selfish act."

"If you commit suicide, you're going to hell!"

The whole idea that someone who calls themselves a Christian, yet screams out to the world that this young man, Sawyer Sweeten, is going to hell for killing himself is definitely not how a true Christian would behave. How can you identify yourself as a Christian and pass judgement so quickly. I'm a Christian and I know that if someone is so troubled that they kill themselves, my God won't judge them too harshly, as to banish them into a lake of eternal fire, but a lot of so-called loving Christians believe this is true. The people who call suicide a selfish act aren't any better. Usually they are the kind of people who believe being sad is the same as suffering from major depression. I suffer from major depression, as well as Paranoid Schizophrenia and I have trouble putting into words truly what if feels like to live with an illness that can be so devastating. When my depression hits me, it's like being launched into a black void where nothing can bring me any happiness. I sleep up to eighteen hours a day because it's my only escape from the bleak reality that surrounds me. As I lay in bed for hours, I just want to be rescued but there isn't anyone coming to save me. The stress of being put in the position where I need to get things done only exacerbates my deepening depression. I start to feel like there's no hope. I have no friends or anybody to call, for that matter, so I have to go through it alone. I start to think, "What will become of me?" The whole scenario I've just described is just a sample of what I go through all the time and I know it will visit me again. It will rear its ugly head and bring me down to my knees. Prescription drugs can only do so much and even though I've been taking anti-depressants for what seems like ages, it doesn't prevent a major depression. I don't know if Sawyer Sweeten suffered from any type of depression but it doesn't matter. We lost someone who brought joy to millions of people in his short life and that's just too sad.




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