Wednesday, May 6, 2015

This loneliness can be soul crushing at times.





Sometimes the living alone and the complete isolation from anyone really gets to me. I find myself sitting on my couch for hours at a time with a dazed look on my face and very little motivation to change my life's circumstances. I'm forgetting how to communicate with people and as an example, when I do venture outside and I'm put in a position where I need to speak to someone, I trip over my own words. I come across as someone who has trouble speaking. It can be embarrassing when I go through a drive-thru restaurant and I have trouble ordering food because my tongue sabotages every word I try to speak. I don't think a man or women for that matter were put on this Earth to be alone but that's exactly where I find myself most of the time. Of course, my television keeps me engaged but that is a poor substitute for a real living person. And even though I keep my television on twenty-four hours a day, it can't stop the loneliness that surrounds my entire existence. At least I'm blessed to spend most weekends with my son but I hunger for adult conversations. There are times when I self talk and answer my own questions but before you accuse me of being crazy, I do so knowingly. I haven't gone, as far as, Tom Hanks when he starred in the motion picture, "Castaway." I haven't made an inanimate object my best friend, as of yet and have no plans to do so. The idea of giving an inanimate object a voice, so that I won't feel so lonely does sound tragic. I purchased a little finger friend with bulging eyes at the local Dollar Tree store but I haven't gave him a name. I think that's why returning to school meant so much to me. I wanted a reason to venture outside my apartment and be around living human beings but that dream is falling short for now because I'm having trouble getting financial assistance. I'm not giving up on my dream to return to college because it's something I need to accomplish and I hope to find a way. This loneliness can be nothing short of soul crushing and I'm in need of help.


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Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...







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