Sunday, August 2, 2015

"On the left-side of my troubled plateau."





A few years back I wrote this:

                             
"On the left-side of my troubled plateau
  I see no sunny clouds.
 Wishful thinking a fine attribute but
 when you're dead, there's no rain dance
  scheduled for today." - EAS




It was a poem I wrote for the complete despair I was feeling at the time. It is very difficult to go on with your day to day life with no sense of hope. I think you have to cling on to something; anything in order to be able to face the day. My depression, along with my Paranoid Schizophrenia, keeps me from enjoying to the fullest. Not only does my illness keep me in a depressive state, it kills my dreams and hopes for a better tomorrow. People say, "You're so strong to be able to get this far in life" but that imagined strength eventually weakens me to the point where my soul dies a little. Sure, I can somehow pick myself back up and find the inner strength to go on. My son currently gives me the only drive I have because I don't want to fail him. But is that enough? Is that supposed fear of failure, when it comes to my son, going to carry me through these dark days? I can only hope and pray that somehow I'll find some measure of happiness. Although, from my vantage point it is getting more and more difficult to envision such a time and place.










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Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...









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