Thursday, January 7, 2016

Every night is different.

It's just after midnight and I'm wide awake, so I can't sleep. My son is coming over for another visit tomorrow morning and it would be a good idea for me to get some sleep. However, I normally take the Seroquel I've been prescribed by my doctor, but it's not a great idea to take if my son is coming over early in the morning. Seroquel is a powerful drug and even if I cut the pill in half, the side effects are strong. I can sleep through the night but it also leaves me extremely lethargic and drowsy the next day. I can't be under the influence of such a powerful drug, while I watch my son. It isn't fair to him, to have a dad that hardly pays attention to him and isn't all there for him. I want to be the best dad I can be, even if it means going without sleep. Sure, I'm not at my best, if I don't get any sleep but my illness keeps me wide awake anyway. If it weren't for my daily dose of Seroquel, I would be up for days at a time. Being up all night is tough on me because that's normally the time my illness rears its ugly head the most. The whispers I wrote about the other day are more prevalent. I wrap myself in a blanket and watch old reruns of the Dragnet on my thirteen inch television set. The television drowns out the sounds of the voices in the walls or suspicious activity that takes place down the hall of my apartment. The argumentative conversations that are always directed toward me and take place in the bedroom I never occupy at night, often scare me to death. I want to ignore it all but through the years I've learned every night is different.

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Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful.  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...

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#ParanoidSchizophrenia #Schizophrenia #MentalIllness #Seroquel #Prozac #Mentalhealthawareness #ProjectExclamationPoint #Schizophrenic #Anxiety #Depression #Sexualabuse