Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Holding on like a dead leaf.


I walked out early this morning from the safety of my apartment. Just before I entered my car, I noticed a leaf stuck on the back of my window. The leaf was holding on for dear life, yet the truth of the matter was, the leaf was long time dead. Later on in the day, I would think about that dead leaf again. You see, I had to go get my car's transmission checked out because it has been acting up. Every time I go to a car repair place, they tell me that my transmission needs to be replaced. I'm well aware that it needs to be replaced but I don't have the money and, if I got a new transmission, it would cost more than the blue book value of my car. After all, my car is over twenty years old and I'd be lucky to get three hundreds dollars for it. The whole process of keeping my car on the rode has been extremely difficult and has caused me a lot of anxiety. There are times I get so worked up about my car, I can't sleep for days at a time. The real worry comes from not being able to have visitations with my son. If my car broke down, I wouldn't be able to visit my son. His mother wouldn't want to have to drop him off and pick him up, so I would be devastated because I love my son. I didn't ask to be disabled and suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia. I had dreams when I was in high school, just before my illness reared its ugly head. I did so well in school and in the end, I was lucky to receive a GED. The repairman explained that I needed $1,300.00 dollars for a new transmission. I explained that I was on disability and didn't have the money. He looked at me and said, "That's too bad." I returned home and looked at my back window and noticed the leaf from this morning was still hanging on. I started to think about that leaf and how, even though it was dead, it was hanging on. I suppose I have to look at life in a similar way. Even though my car is about to die, I have to keep holding out for hope. If a dead leaf can hold on, I certainly can do the same.








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Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...