Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Isolation kills the soul.

Living alone and suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia is soul crushing. I have absolutely nobody to talk to, and it hurts deeply. I have no friends to speak of, and no contact with my family, except for the occasional message on Facebook from a niece of mine. I mean, there's a good reason I don't speak to my family anymore. However, the having no friends, is my fault I guess. I'm not very social and my illness tends to have me withdraw from the world, almost completely. If I didn't have my son visit the three days I'm given the opportunity to have him over my apartment, I wouldn't have any contact with the outside world. Unfortunately, because my car is over twenty years old and prone to breaking down, my visits with my son aren't guaranteed. I really don't know how to change my life. I sit on my living room couch for hours on end, thinking about how I could change my situation, but nothing changes. I often catch myself saying, "I know" out loud because I'm answering my internal self talk. Which isn't self talk at all, it's more like self bashing. As I write this, I'm sitting on my couch and wondering if I have it in myself to change my life, or am I destined to be alone forever? I don't want to be alone anymore.

If you'd like, please click the link below and visit my YouTube Channel.
Click here to visit my YouTube channel...

Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dying car...