Thursday, May 11, 2017

Missing my little boy.

Today I would normally pick up my son from school and have him until Sunday night, but that won't be the case for a while. Now that my car has finally broken down for good, I'm not sure when I'll get to see my son. My car was my lifeline that gave me the opportunity to have a relationship with my little boy. I knew my car would eventually break down for good, after all, it was over twenty years old and falling apart little by little. Every time I would drive around in my car, I would have so much anxiety because I feared it would break down at any moment. The thought of my car dying on the side of some road, while cars zoomed by, was a prevailing fear of mine. As I drove, I always would self talk and bargain with God, in a vain attempt to keep my car on the road for as long as possible. I would even sing songs under my breathe, in praise of God. I know that may seem silly to some people, but I truly believed it would have some affect on the life of my automobile. Sadly, my worst fears have finally come true. I no longer have a car, so I can't be in my son's life for the time being. I'm on federal disability and I barely survive month to month, so I don't have any money saved up to purchase another used car. Also, because I don't have any family or friends, I don't have anyone to ask for help. I know people wonder how I couldn't possibly have a friend or any family to help me out, but it's the truth. I've written before a few times on this blog, as to why I have no contact with my family anymore. As for friends, my illness makes it very difficult for me to be social. I'm mostly locked inside my apartment all day watching television or sleeping (With the help of medication). Yesterday I wrote, "Please help me" and without sounding anymore pathetic than I already feel, I'll continually ask if there is anyone or any people who can donate to my GoFundMe account or directly to my PayPal email (, in order for me to purchase a dependable used car, I would be forever grateful. Also, if there is anyone in the Sacramento, CA area and you have a car that you don't need, maybe you could find it in your heart to donate it to me. Anyhow, I'm sorry for coming across as a person who expects people to help... Especially since there are people who are worse off than myself. I just need help and don't have anywhere to turn.

Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful.  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!

My dead car...

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