Wednesday, May 17, 2017

My fear came true.



It's been a difficult week for me. I haven't found the motivation to get up and go outside, so I've spent most of my time in bed. I just sit and watch endless hours of mindless television, in between naps. I knew when my car finally broke down, I'd be in trouble. I've lost my lifeline to having a relationship with my son that kept me involved and a big part of his life. I'm trying my best not to get too depressed, but it's very hard when I don't have any friends or family. The other day I wrote something down, as to why it is so difficult having a friend(See above). I don't think people truly realize how mental illness affects the ability to be social. I think the last time I was able to maintain a real friendship was back in middle school. By the time I was in high school, I was already having symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia and started to isolate myself from the world. That isolation continues to this day, except for some brief moments in time when I was able to function in the real world. I hate being alone, but as time goes by, it has become almost too familiar. My social growth is so stunted. I often forget how to maintain a conversation, so I just end up coming across as someone who's not interested in getting to know anyone. When the truth is, I need a friend. My fear is that I will end up locked away in my room, apart from my son, and dying a little inside everyday. It looks like my fear came true.


Also, I would update more but for the last two years my computer has been dying a slow death.





Please GoFundMe... In Need of Purchasing a Dependable Used Car, so I can visit my son regularly. Any amount would help and I'll be forever grateful. http://www.gofundme.com/m12hgk  Or you can send funds thru Paypal at my email arichere@yahoo.com Please read my story, as to why I need help. Thank You So Very Much!!!!


My dead car...








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